


Say What You Mean

by Kiyara_Iris



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Fluffy Ending, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-23 19:50:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17086634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiyara_Iris/pseuds/Kiyara_Iris
Summary: 'Those thoughts derailed as Gai held out the hand he’d been coughing into, a single, light yellow petal curved gently into his palm. Kakashi stared at it, not recognizing the species, but recognizing the illness. It was rare, extremely rare and usually happened to young, emotionally wrecked teenagers in the grips of embarrassing hormones out of their control.'Of course it would be like Maito Gai to develop the Hanakotoba Curse.





	Say What You Mean

**Author's Note:**

> I've read a few stories that deal with this genre: repressed or unrequited feelings expressing themselves through petals being expelled from the body. This is purely my loose take on the idea because Gai just seems like the type and I adore this pairing. All flower meanings are taken from Hanakotoba, the Japanese form of the language of flowers. Enjoy ^_^

               They’re on their way back to Konoha after a simple A-ranked mission when Kakashi saw the first petal. Gai had stopped behind him mid-jump, hand braced against the trunk of a tree, slightly doubled over and coughing gently. Kakashi’s first thought was to wonder if they’d shared any food or water, he really didn’t want to get sick. Those thoughts derailed as Gai held out the hand he’d been coughing into, a single, light yellow petal curved gently into his palm. Kakashi stared at it, not recognizing the species, but recognizing the illness. It was rare, extremely rare and usually happened to young, emotionally wrecked teenagers in the grips of embarrassing hormones out of their control. But of course, Gai was the epitome of youth, embracer of the entire gamut of emotions, purveyor of all tales of love, anger and triumph over fear, of course he would go to this extreme. He just wasn’t sure why Gai was keeping whatever emotion was threading through his system to himself.

               “Just tell them Gai.” His voice was a modulated monotone, carefully constructed boredom to convey that he had no stake in this whatsoever. He expected his friend to boisterously expound on the virtues of patience and tact, but simply shook his head, bowl cut shimmering in a few beams of sun that had bothered to make the long trip down through the trees. Kakashi rolled his eyes but didn’t press further. He knew the other man would eventually give in, Gai couldn’t keep quiet in the best of time; his embarrassment or apprehension or whatever wouldn’t last. But there was an unease that settled around Kakashi as they continued their way back, the air interspersed with crinkly yellow petals drifting behind the green blur ahead of him.

*********************

               “It’s from a camellia.” Kakashi watched Ino’s face carefully from over the top of Icha Icha, trying to discern how sure she was. She looked up at him expectantly and a little exasperated. True, he’d stopped her in the middle of the street and she looked like she had been quickly heading somewhere. He didn’t understand that sense of rushing, there wasn’t a state emergency and unless one did happen wherever she was headed would still be standing. She handed it back to him with a raised eyebrow. “Anything else?” Kakashi hesitated slightly. Sure, curiosity had made him surreptitiously grab one of the petals in the first place, but a need to stay aloof had stopped him from asking Gai, who was sentimental enough to know the ins and outs of Hanakatoba, his real question. Which was why he’d cornered the Yamanaka (not her father, the man could be a needling bastard), might as well ask the question he needed the answer to.

               “Does it have a meaning?” The girl gave him one of the most exaggerated eye-rolls he’d ever been subjected to. He was rather impressed.

               “Nearly all flowers have meaning Kakashi-sensei. Camellia, yellow ones, mean longing.” He nodded, pocketed the petal and without saying another word turned and sauntered casually away, a loud snort coming from behind him. He felt disquieted, not entirely sure why and decided to head somewhere secluded to think. Reclining in one of his favorite trees, the word echoed through his mind: longing. He’d expected something flashier, some grander declaration from Gai. Well, so long as the idiot fessed up his feelings, everything would be fine; he’d get his answer instead of twisting up inside himself till his chakra systems started spouting flowers.

               Idiot.

************************

               He heard the coughing before he got up the last flight of stairs and didn’t even knock before opening the door. Gai’s back was to him, a cloth held up to his face, large frame shaking with hacking shudders. Kakashi sighed.

               “I told you to get it over with. You won’t be fit for duty at this rate.” Dark brown eyes glared at him as his friend turned. Gai took a deep, shaking breath, closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them with a grin.

               “Do not worry for me Rival, my body is a pillar of Strength! There is no pain I cannot Endure!” Kakashi frowned, not liking that Gai seemed to have no intention of confessing the secret feeling of his heart to whatever poor sap he was _longing_ for. Some people expressed that repression in violent tendencies, some in psychological disorders or alcohol problems and in Kakashi’s case porn addiction. But Gai- of course Gai would go with the Hanakotoba Curse, his body growing flowers in response to his repressed emotions. This was why shinobi learned to control their emotions or find suitable outlets.

               The towel was thrown away and the inevitable challenge issued which Kakashi rolled his eyes at, but glad his friend was still acting (what passed for his version of) normal. Kakashi was a genius, one of the youngest ANBU members ever recruited and a top-level jounin most of his life; secreting the folded-up towel out of the trash before they left was a piece of cake.

*********************

               Ino was giving him a shrewd look this time, which Kakashi didn’t think was warranted. He’d caught her in her family’s flower shop, which was fitting, and there were no other customers. Maybe it was the porn.

               “What’s this about Kakashi-sensei, has someone been giving you secret flowers?” Kakashi was endlessly grateful for his mask on many occasions, and right now the blush that bloomed -fittingly like a flower- across his cheeks was a reason high up on that list. He briefly toyed with the idea of spinning that type of story for the nosy girl but decided brushing off the inevitable questions once that rumor spread was too much of a hassle.

               “It’s for a friend.” He might as well have made something up from her clearly skeptical look, but she turned a professional eye on the petals between them instead, a wider variety of types than before. Kakashi’s stomach clenched.

               “This blue one is a forget-me-not.”

               “That seems self-explanatory.” Exasperated eyes turned on him and he smiled charmingly, which just made the girl snort.

               “You really know nothing about this do you? No, forget-me-nots mean true love.” Kakashi’s hand shook, very slightly, the book giving the tiniest of wobbles. Well, he’d wanted a grander statement. He gestured at the others.

               “This white one is gardenia, love again, but a love kept secret. This one is sunflower, which is a symbol of worship around the world, often associated with giving thanks to gods and higher powers. This last one is…” She frowned and Kakashi let her have her time, his head filled with the words: true love, worship, secret longing. Gai was being torn apart from the inside by something he expounded on freely every day: love. _Why_? He would expect the Mighty Green Beast to be shouting poetry and declarations from the rooftops, giving bouquets and gifts to his sweetheart, not letting his feelings choke him in his solitude.

               “Ok, yeah, this one is a white rose, sorry it looks like a lot of other flowers. It means innocence, or it can mean devotion. I think, it can also mean silence. Most people go for red roses, obviously, since they mean passionate love.”

               “I think there’s enough love there.” Wide eyes looked at him and Kakashi cleared his throat. He hadn’t meant to snap that at her, but he was beginning to get frustrated. He didn’t like the implications of the last one, he had to find Gai.

********************

               Gai was on training ground 9, his favorite, smashing boulders into smaller boulders. His hands were so scarred and rigid there was barely any blood. Kakashi watched his friend’s powerful form moving through familiar motions and wondered who Gai was secretly in love with. He dismissed most of their friends, Gai had no qualms telling each and every one of them how much they meant on a regular basis, mostly when drunk, but they all took his eccentric emotions in stride, Gai wouldn’t hesitate to tell one of them they were the love of his life, they could handle it. A civilian? It was a difficult life for a villager to get involved with a high-ranking shinobi, they could barely understand the strain and needs the profession called for. Maybe the subject of Gai’s devotion was already married or otherwise unavailable. Gai was the type to not want to put anyone in a difficult situation. But _this_ was a difficult situation.

               If left unchecked, the Curse would continually drain his chakra until it could no longer replenish, and he would die. Most cases never grew to that extreme, confession was easier than facing death. It was a truth most poets never wanted to address, but unrequited love was rarely worth dying over. Coughing rang around the clearing and Kakashi was at Gai’s side instantly, a hand soothing against his heaving back. The coughs were so violent Gai didn’t even have the strength to move or throw him off; as much as Gai enjoyed affection, he despised pity. A cascade of petals blanketed the grass and even in his anger and panic Kakashi couldn’t help but admire their pristine beauty, unmarred by spit or bile. There was a splash of new red ones and a single pink petal, completely different from the rest. As Gai sat back, heaving in breath, Kakashi secreted both into his pocket.

               “This is enough Gai, I have to report this to the Hokage.” Gai narrowed his eyes but was too busy trying to breathe to say anything. “I don’t understand, just confess, ask them out; you should be used to rejection by now. This isn’t worth falling ill over.”

               “Kakashi-” Gai gasped out, standing on quite steady legs and ignoring the insult. “Sometimes, the Right and Brave thing to do is to say nothing, no matter the consequences. I am sure I can endure.”

               “And what if you die?” He spat back, hands clenched in rage. Gai’s dark, brooding eyes bored into him and Kakashi felt his stomach tremble. They were filled with the defiance and strength Gai exuded right before opening the gates, ripping his body apart in order to serve his village and protect his important people.

               “Some things are worth dying for.”

****************

               “This pink one, I don’t actually recognize but the other is a camellia again, red has a different meaning.” Ino really seemed to be into this now, still looking at him curiously, but no longer prying. “It’s a popular one that symbolizes love and devotion, but people also use it as funeral flowers for shinobi as it can also mean an honorable or noble death. Do you want me to ask my father about the other one?”

****************

               “Gai is exhibiting symptoms of the Hanakotoba curse.” Kakashi knocked six kunai effortlessly away before Tsunade called her guards to stand down. She rubbed a weary hand over the sides of her face.

               “The window is not an appropriate way to-the Hanakotoba Curse? Are you sure?” In response Kakashi dropped the small pile of petals in front of the Hokage. She shifted them around and examined each one carefully.

               “A deeply profound love is killing him, it seems poetic somehow.” He was trying for nonchalance, but he hadn’t even taken out his book and he knew her sharp eyes could see the tension thrumming through his slouched stance.

               “Do you know who it is?” He couldn’t help but glare.

               “You really think I wouldn’t have already dragged him in front of them and forced him to confess?” Tsunade rubbed her temples again, not taking her eyes from the petals.

               “So, you’ve asked him?” He was glad for the chance to copy Ino’s eyeroll, it was very satisfying even with only one eye. At her eyebrow raise though, he felt guilt flooding his system.

               “Ah…that is-I told him to just get it over with, but he said-” _Some things are worth dying for_. “That he was not planning on it.” Tsunade’s face turned thunderous. Her head whipped towards a corner.

               “Get me Maito Gai. _Now_.”

****************

               The Hokage had allowed him to stay for the interview which turned out to be useless. She’d threatened, cajoled, tried to reason with and eventually threatened again, this time with Ibiki. Gai had remained stoic, calm in a steadfast resolve that irked Kakashi and hammered him with fear again. He’d stayed as silent as Gai through the whole thing, wanting to punch him right in his calm, resolved face. Gai had left and Kakashi could only stare at the door. He couldn’t look at Tsunade’s furrowed eyebrows, expression deeply troubled.

               “Kakashi, you have to get this out of him. Pride is going to kill him.”

               “ _Love_ is going to kill him.” Kakashi countered, his voice soft and devoid of emotion. There was no answer from Tsunade, but he could feel the sharp focus of the ANBU guards and he tried to reel in the fury building inside his chest. There was something eating at him, something he loathed in the tenacity and breadth of this supposed love his friend was allowing to wreck the body he’d assiduously worked for his entire life. Whoever the person was, they weren’t worth this. Kakashi was going to find them, drag them kicking and screaming in front of Gai and save his longest surviving friend. Whether he wanted to be or not.

*****************

               Kakashi tried to formulate a game plan, both hands tucked deeply into his pockets as he stalked down Konoha’s market street, intent on going through each shop Gai frequented and interviewing every single person that regularly came in contact with the Mighty Green Beast.

               “Kakashi-sensei!” He turned towards the loud, girlish voice hailing him. Ino skidded to a halt, smiling widely and it jarred so strangely with the anger prickling at his skin he couldn’t fathom what had her so excited.

               “That pink petal, it’s not part of Hanakotoba lore, that’s why I didn’t recognize it!” Kakashi frowned at her. That didn’t make sense, part of the stupidity of the curse was the deep meaning behind the flowers the afflicted expelled. “It’s not even native around here, my dad saw it in a private garden a few villages over; it’s dogwood.” Kakashi felt his blood freezing through the entirety of his body. A secret love akin to worship that Gai would rather die for than…he flew through hand signs faster than he ever had, even in the midst of battle, leaving Ino’s surprised face instantly and teleported directly into Gai’s apartment.

               Gai was crouched on his hands and knees in his kitchen, petals strewn all over the floor. The coughing fit seemed long over, but his fingers were toying with a pink petal. Dogwood.

               “Gai-” It came out choked, betraying his shock and mounting…he couldn’t even name the swelling emotion.

               “Kakashi.” Gai didn’t look around, his voice cracked and so, so tired. Kakashi was the genius student of Konoha’s famous Yellow Flash; the time it took him to be on his knees, pulling Gai up to face him was faster than the eye could see. The petals were so disturbed by the motion, they fluttered around them as Kakashi paused, staring into Gai’s surprised, wet eyes and he suddenly knew what this feeling was. His hands softened their hold, reaching up to cup around Gai’s jaw.

               “I’m not worth dying for.” Gai looked angry, then embarrassed, then resolute.

               “You undervalue yourself my friend. Your life has been rife with the pains of betrayal. I would rather have suffered anything than risk destroying our friendship with confession or force you to…lose a lover from battle.” The last was said so quietly and thrown away that Kakashi knew Gai had never truly thought that a possibility. His hands clenched, digging nails into Gai’s warm flesh, thinking how close…

               “You think watching my eternal Rival die in any manner would be easy?” It was the first time he’d called Gai that with no trace of sarcasm and deep brown eyes widened. “That depriving me of any chance at love is the noble thing to do?” Gai’s eyes couldn’t go wider, so his mouth dropped open instead. Kakashi took the moment of stunned silence to tug his mask down, telegraphing his movements as he leaned in and gently kissed Gai’s bottom lip. There was a heartbeat in which he pulled away before Gai’s mouth closed and they were kissing in earnest, but the sobs wracking Gai’s body soon forced them apart. Kakashi trailed his thumbs against wet cheeks, kissing into the saltiness there as he waited for Gai to calm down.

               When his friend sniffled a little, finally opening his eyes again, Kakashi cuddled him close with one arm around his back, holding a petal in front of Gai’s face with the other.

               “Dogwood.” Gai blushed, ducking his head a little and Kakashi chuckled. “You always do manage to say exactly what you mean.”


End file.
